"You Know I Like Toes, I Don't Like This Toe" -- Rex Ryan Makes It Clear That Kadarius Toney Has Him Turned All The Way Off
It's ironic that Rex is on a show called "Get Up", because it turns out Kadarius Toney has the one foot that Rex can't get up for.
Over the years, Rex Ryan has put on a masterclass on how to own the joke. The whole world was laughing at Rex Ryan for being a foot guy, and all of a sudden he turned the whole thing around. Got himself an endorsement deal from Dr. Scholl's, has made a few jokes and quips at his own expense, and now it's just a totally normal part of his life's story. I mean what other figure in sports could proclaim his love for feet to a national audience before half the country even had a chance to eat breakfast on a Monday morning, and it not be the weirdest moment ever? Rex Ryan is the only one.
Rex Ryan loves feet. That's just a fact, and up until last night he couldn't get enough of them. But turns out that Kadarius Toney's toes have finally knocked him off his kink. He might not be able to see another foot again without thinking about how egregiously offsides Kadarius Toney was before ruining one of the most electric plays of the season. You hope the man can overcome the adversity, but we've been bombarded with non-stop replays and zoom-ins of that play over the past 16 hours. It's going to take a while to get that visual out of his mind.
By the way--life for Rex Ryan has to be pretty sweet now. When all the shit first came out about how much the man loved feet, a foot fetish was one of the most taboo things you'd hear about on the internet. That was probably, what, less than 15 years ago?Nowadays there's an entire industry built on women getting paid the same as an NFL starting quarterback's salary for selling photos of their feet online. He's living in his own personal golden age right now. Good for him.